We were woken up with the news via text message, I was in complete disbelief and he was mainly pensive...and I think his eyes were a bit red. We spent the whole day in, I cried, watched countless movies, I cried, I cooked some comfort food, cried a bit more, and affixed ourselves to the couch. See, my husband ALWAYS has something to do, especially during the weekends. Staying in, texting back and forth to get more info, was his way to deal with it.
There are plenty that he can't say, plenty that I can't say, but this accident became more personal that day. Since that day I have had some good days and bad days. I have tried to see the good in his profession. I am frequently reminded that our time together could get cut short and thus we work past the trivial arguments fairly quickly and at least try to enjoy them (as weird as that may sound), and we usually stop from our busy lives to truly appreciate the happiness we share. His profession reminding me of our mortality, especially his, is not so bad, but being reminded of that with such a horrible event did take it to another level. I hope I don't get reminded of it that way anytime soon, but then again, I am a realist and I know I am capable of dealing with anything that comes my way.
Alright, too much touchy-feely stuff. I just needed to let it out for the last time.
Hi! I came across your blog when I was doing some research about the military life. My fiancé is about to join the navy and he is trying to see if he can try out for seals. I was doing research on how family life is when your husband is a navy seal. This is the first blog I came across specifically for navy wives and it has helped out a lot.
ReplyDeleteHi Ruth! That is the main reason why I started this blog, and it makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach to know that it has helped you. The decision to train and try for the teams is a hard one to make, it takes a lot to prepare for it, and to go through it regardless of whether he makes it or not. I haven't been in your shoes. That is a decision you will both have to make and I'm very interested to know how you feel about it. I have a lot of writing to do, and you along with the other comments I have gotten have truly inspired me to continue. Thank you and I hope I get to hear from you again.
ReplyDeleteHi there I just came across this! I've been in this 11 years and I can honestly say when things like this happen it's a reality check! I'm not sure what's worse sometimes the reality or the billions of emails and calls from people, even people I haven't spoke to in 5 years wanting to know details and if we knew anyone. I hate that part. And as you can imagine in 11 years my husband has lost one best friend and 3 in his BUDs class. But at the end if the day it puts the time you spend with them in perspective. You don't take a minute for granite. This life style has made me appreciate and value more my time with people and my relationships. I think in the long run it's made me a better more humble person.
ReplyDeleteHi Mare, I completely agree with you. Being constantly reminded of it due to all the calls and emails from people can be difficult. I know that most of them is because people truly care, but some others are clearly just being noisy.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your husband's loss. The community is so small that even though casualties are rare, they tend to touch everyone in a very personal level; especially if you knew the fallen.
I do think that this lifestyle, when chosen by the right people, can be something great. It humbles you, gives you strength, adds more meaning to everything that you do and it pushes you to live life to the fullest.
Going back to the calls and emails, lately I've gotten some due to the movie Act of Valor. I would like to hear the perspective of the SEALS who decided to come out in the movie because I just don't get it. I wonder how others in the community feel about this...
Hi there. Just wanted to say that I enjoy your blog so far and can relate to a degree to some of your entries. I have an ex that is a SEAL. We still keep in touch and are friends. At the time of the helo incident, I was still involved with him but our relationship hadn't reached the point where I had met family (out of state) or friends (SEALs). We had been together for about 8 months but a good portion of that he was gone, so we were still getting to know each other. Anyways, my SEAL was out on a mission at the time and not safe back home when the crash happened, so I was a wreck when I first got the news. Especially with no means to reach loved ones, my not being on his emergency contact list, and his roommate being out of town as well. I had to just sit and wait until The List came out. Easily the worst week of my life. Thankfully he was ok and I saw him a few weeks later but he was deeply affected by it all. In a way the crash caused our relationship to end because he did some things as a way of coping that were hurtful to me (not physically).
ReplyDeleteAs for Act of Valor, my SEAL friend told me recently that the guys in the movie are still active duty but are not out participating in missions anymore. I guess that's why it's safer for them to be outed publicly this way with less fear for retribution/recognition. I dunno. Either way, I don't want to see the film. I heard enough from him about what he does and the dangerous positions he gets in for his job, that I don't need to see it acted out on a big screen. I've seen enough physical damage to his body when he comes back home from a mission.
Hi Tina, thank you for reading my blog. I am sorry that you had to go through that with your ex. I went through it once, but as soon as the base was no longer on lock down (a few days), my husband was able to contact me. It must have been really hard for you to take a look at The List. I am sure he missed out on a great girl. I hardly hear of a girl in your position that was still interested in a relationship after a deployment. Many do tend to take that for granted. However, the situation that you both were in is definitely complicated and I am sorry to hear that he hurt you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the info about the actors. I am glad to know that they won't be sent to missions, so they'll be safe from retribution. I may actually watch the next Navy SEAL movie mainly because I really like the director's previous work. It won't be easy to watch, so I'll probably wait until it is out on DVD.