When 5 months feel like 2 years

My title is putting it lightly, but I guess I should start by setting the scenario. Rewind back to the beginning of last year: Husband went on a 4 month training trip that I wrote about in an earlier post. Soon after he came back, he had to go to a 2 month training that took him to 3 or 4 states and no visits allowed. He was then home for 1 month and then gone for one more (I bet you are confused by now). In one year, not counting the one week trainings, he was gone for a total of 7 or 8 months - longer than his recent deployment overseas. See, the only, although very important difference, is that they are not in real harms way (well, mostly and as far as I know). Even if he is not in true danger, this does not remove the fact that he is still away from home and from me.

I was naive to believe that we were both equally strong (What does this even mean?), that we are dealing with similar level of stress, and that all that time spent separated would not be a big challenge for us. I kept thinking that he could deal with his stress on his own and with the little help I could provide via emails, text messages and phone calls (nothing tragic happened, in case you think I'm going there). The truth is that he was not able to do it without resorting to self-destructive behavior: drinking, emotionally shutting down and pretending to be someone else. Sad to say, unbeknown us, we were becoming a very typical military marriage story. Another statistic of a failed marriage in the Navy SEALs community.

Since there is plenty for me to write, more than enough to fill in the space between August and now, let me tell you where we are right now: together, attending a program called FOCUS, and trying to make our marriage work. The following posts won't be a chronicle of sob stories, but a mix of good and bad moments, reflections, information for other new Navy SEAL spouses and random musings.