I have been a horrible blogger! There, I said it. I don't get me sometimes - I love writing, yet I stop writing for a long time. I wanted to write to give an update on how things are going lately for me.
First, I am still in the divorce process. My soon to be ex has been a man of his word just like I am of mine. It wasn't easy, especially for him. Being deployed and getting advice from others was tough. I bet every single person that gave their advice had their best intentions, and also a good informal statistical assessment of how screwed up divorce is, especially in the very common military marriage graveyard. However - and forget my failure to stay focused here (long, long week!) - not every divorce process has to be so painful, full of distrust and unfairness. We kept communicating and ensuring each other, by word and action, that we were going to honor the years of friendship and love that we had for each other by working together and fairly throughout the divorce.
Second, we would like to become friends some time in the future. Even if we never do again, we wanted to remember us for how we were able to work together at the end, how in some way we were able to show that we care for each other and regain some honor from the time we spent together.
Third, and in another topic - I moved! Although I think I had mentioned it before, ha. I am really loving the new city I live in. I have also gotten to travel to very fun places due to my job and have tried a few things I have never tried before... like a 5k. Don't laugh at me. OK fine, go for it. I have never liked running, but an opportunity showed up and as apocalyptic as it sounds, I do think that a human should at least be able to run 3 miles in case you've got to run from a twister, a tsunami, a rapist or even a rabid dog. And so I did it!
Fourth, not everything is so peachy and rosy in my life, but then who that is not in denial truly is. I have some problems with one of my dogs showing aggressive signs, I've been dealing with feelings of inadequacy at work once in a while, struggling with my work/life/school balance and challenges in keeping up with my friendships.The first one is the toughest one. I love my dog, but I cannot be blind or not take further action. Like in many other things, we don't always have the answer or the ability to fix a problem and getting help is the best thing to do. I'm planning on enrolling him in a recovery program for aggressive dogs and I am hoping for the best. Wish me luck!
Fifth, and this is the best update! I have a boyfriend and I am very happy. Love has hit me again... and hard. A friend of many years, someone that I, at some points in my life, and in a matter of minutes (apologize for all the comas), looked at and thought of how great we could be together. Minutes later, OK maybe days... and one time maybe months later, I got back into only seeing him as a close friend. Well close friends we still are, but now we are much more. It is like I wrote earlier in my "Moving On" post - I am now full of emotions, inconsistencies, irrationalities, have increased my goofiness, and on the other end I am still very much pragmatic, patient and collected. Although I do sometimes fear that all of that could drive someone away, I have also realized that it can very much bring someone as close to me as nobody ever has. Disclaimer: This is not a license to not improve on myself. It is an internal permission to allow me to manifest emotions, actions and thoughts that I didn't even know I had in me; choose some not-so-nice ones to work on and celebrate the ones that make me feel happy and more alive.
Whew, I really got all introspective and "look at me I've gained some wisdom...I think" on you, but I think that what all those words really say is that I am a very happy woman.
